i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
