The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
