we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
