Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
