oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
