SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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