You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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