Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
