please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
pray to the hookup gods
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
