My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
