Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
