Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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