Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
