I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
