Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
