dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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