I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
