I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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