If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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