it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
