do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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