she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We were destined to go to rehab together
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
