yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
