This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
