Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
