you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
