I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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