girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
