Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize