lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dignity is for republicans.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
