It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
