Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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