I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When did angry sex become our thing?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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