Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
