Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
