Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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