What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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