He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize