nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
do nipples grow back?
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