Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
