I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My ass is underappreciated
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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