yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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