Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
why does every cop we meet know your name?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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