have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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