hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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