You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
porn star boner night. come get it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
