Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
