Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
