I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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