people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
