um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Who died my cat blue again?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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