Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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