oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My boob is missing a layer of skin
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
