I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
