David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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